even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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