I cut my penus on the lid.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize