Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
