I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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