i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
