Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im six kinds of drunk right now
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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