Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
