Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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