TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
