Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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