Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
