i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
