the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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