let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
