whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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