A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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