It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
