i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
