yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
