she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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