big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
