I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
