dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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