I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i need some magic done to my vagina
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
