Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
