we have pet lesbian snakes
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
