somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??