Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps http://tfl.nu/14e5
  Replies (24) Good night (1312) Bad night (8163) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me. http://tfl.nu/jxdy
  Replies (12) Good night (4777) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why. http://tfl.nu/20py
  Replies (8) Good night (5487) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked http://tfl.nu/pl9e
  Replies (10) Good night (3042) Bad night (1159) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back. http://tfl.nu/pu4u
  Replies (18) Good night (4270) Bad night (1960) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line. http://tfl.nu/jhch
  Replies (12) Good night (696) Bad night (2250) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult? http://tfl.nu/q3fi
  Replies (22) Good night (515) Bad night (3072) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+04): View more from

  Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.

  (1+04): View more from

  I hate Sailor Jerry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+04): Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles. (1+04): I hate Sailor Jerry. http://tfl.nu/k3xc
  Replies (11) Good night (1750) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels http://tfl.nu/mqc8
  Replies (8) Good night (1689) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together. http://tfl.nu/yozh
  Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen" http://tfl.nu/8546
  Replies (5) Good night (1682) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here. http://tfl.nu/svec
  Replies (6) Good night (693) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE" http://tfl.nu/9i9s
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/na6f
  Replies (5) Good night (1138) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost http://tfl.nu/neal
  Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt

Randomize