I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
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My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.