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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What did I say to him last night?

  (385): View more from Utah

  Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  all in all not a bad night

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.

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• (909): View more from California

  it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid

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• (425): View more from Washington

  You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.

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• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!

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