Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.

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  (515): i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty. http://tfl.nu/51bx
  Replies (13) Good night (515) Bad night (3233)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.

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  (404): Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage. http://tfl.nu/ouqc
  Replies (16) Good night (561) Bad night (3900)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.

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  (404): she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis. http://tfl.nu/x2kt
  Replies (67) Good night (10831) Bad night (990)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

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  (978): i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite. http://tfl.nu/yk7i
  Replies (22) Good night (8143) Bad night (669)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots

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  (908): how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots http://tfl.nu/lfl0
  Replies (17) Good night (4905) Bad night (1402)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium

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  (717): dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium http://tfl.nu/wa3w
  Replies (20) Good night (5224) Bad night (1137)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.

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  (631): I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise. http://tfl.nu/lz74
  Replies (9) Good night (3854) Bad night (846)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.

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  (816): At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug. http://tfl.nu/yhlg
  Replies (7) Good night (4885) Bad night (949)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  ... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.

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  (352): ... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea. http://tfl.nu/mdap
  Replies (6) Good night (2299) Bad night (793)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.

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  (920): Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven. http://tfl.nu/0uzd
  Replies (4) Good night (2029) Bad night (645)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.

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  (414): Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/gfee
  Replies (6) Good night (733) Bad night (1649)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?

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  (785): Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference? http://tfl.nu/d4sd
  Replies (7) Good night (1841) Bad night (808)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.

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  (978): Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance. http://tfl.nu/nlqh
  Replies (13) Good night (1409) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic

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  (941): So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic http://tfl.nu/vgkg
  Replies (8) Good night (1523) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.

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  (+44): Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread. http://tfl.nu/ub9a
  Replies (4) Good night (569) Bad night (185)

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