He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.