He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just come out here and I will go home with you...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
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there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice