Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  My pussy is not your playground.

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  (760): My pussy is not your playground. http://tfl.nu/vnfk
  Replies (63) Good night (1547) Bad night (5526)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.

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  (417): So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes. http://tfl.nu/bjrk
  Replies (48) Good night (9437) Bad night (1423)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.

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  (847): She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses. http://tfl.nu/wrem
  Replies (50) Good night (1355) Bad night (4765)
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  (650): View more from California

  I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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  (650): I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats. http://tfl.nu/rm40
  Replies (42) Good night (14453) Bad night (1054)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

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  (417): My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah. http://tfl.nu/uiae
  Replies (12) Good night (4571) Bad night (1468)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

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  (603): I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part. http://tfl.nu/7yrx
  Replies (8) Good night (5275) Bad night (1197)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.

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  (402): The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier. http://tfl.nu/7vbg
  Replies (8) Good night (853) Bad night (3408)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night

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  (610): i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night http://tfl.nu/l16l
  Replies (7) Good night (1444) Bad night (2903)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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  (269): just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment. http://tfl.nu/lbx2
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (1367)
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  (585): View more from New York

  So stoned i forgot i was in bed

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  (585): So stoned i forgot i was in bed http://tfl.nu/69t5
  Replies (1) Good night (1062) Bad night (505)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!

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  (505): This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want! http://tfl.nu/7h8o
  Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (590)
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  (619): View more from California

  Then again, he has huge mansions.

  (619): View more from California

  *manboobs.

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  (619): Then again, he has huge mansions. (619): *manboobs. http://tfl.nu/0ptq
  Replies (3) Good night (431) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants

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  (256): I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants http://tfl.nu/j7tx
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (316)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.

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  (586): Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too. http://tfl.nu/y4xc
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.

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  (602): You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs. http://tfl.nu/mu1s
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (306)

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