don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
