dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
