Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously

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  (281): I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously http://tfl.nu/rnuw
  Replies (9) Good night (669) Bad night (1071)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.

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  (251): Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance (303): It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime. http://tfl.nu/1z36
  Replies (16) Good night (2440) Bad night (750)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.

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  (904): I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling. (1-904): It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that. http://tfl.nu/i3bg
  Replies (28) Good night (873) Bad night (2189)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

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  (417): I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous. http://tfl.nu/gmif
  Replies (32) Good night (4161) Bad night (674)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.

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  (401): OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever. http://tfl.nu/cy9z
  Replies (197) Good night (10826) Bad night (1076)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

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  (540): And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good... http://tfl.nu/zb2a
  Replies (44) Good night (1298) Bad night (9649)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys

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  (603): wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys http://tfl.nu/ak8d
  Replies (17) Good night (5980) Bad night (2464)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.

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  (816): I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic. http://tfl.nu/t2fd
  Replies (7) Good night (2687) Bad night (1140)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina

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  (952): His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina http://tfl.nu/9a4t
  Replies (42) Good night (3414) Bad night (832)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.

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  (415): I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history. http://tfl.nu/x6ei
  Replies (13) Good night (801) Bad night (1651)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.

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  (405): there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this. http://tfl.nu/t3uy
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (672)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women

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  (808): there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women http://tfl.nu/4eji
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (295)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...

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  (248): Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider... http://tfl.nu/jksb
  Replies (4) Good night (642) Bad night (293)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.

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  (219): They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M. http://tfl.nu/5crd
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (322)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"

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  (603): I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter" http://tfl.nu/wf41
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (231)

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