Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
