i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
