Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
