Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
