she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
