i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
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Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
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He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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