I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
