i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
