can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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