Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I checked into jail on foursquare
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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