there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
In America we eat man semen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
