I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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