Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
