Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I did not marry a roomba.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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