and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
