You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
