Its about making memories worth repressing
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
