So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
