lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
not ubering you a puppy
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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