The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
