Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize