Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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