he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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