We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
