Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
