You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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