she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
