Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
