you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she smelled like a LAN party
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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