so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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