i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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