i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
