I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
