is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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