He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
