Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He has the fingertips of a God
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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