chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
