I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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