Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
